Welcome to the Miniskirt Army
by Suku17
Summary: A surprising twist that's hard to resist! Alchemists teaching ninja! Authority vs. anarchy! Pink vs... pink! R&R! Flames welcome.
1. Good Morning, Sunshine!

Setting: Military dormitory; 3:30 A.M.

"Wake up Sunshine!" That familiar sing-songy voice rings , like every morning.

"Maes..." Ruaki, (more commonly known as 'Rue') whined. "It's 3:00 in the morning! Why can't you wake up at noon like normal people?"

The stars shined dully from outside the window, and a pale, sliver of moon glowed weakly as dawn threatened it's approach. The two in the room at this time were named Ruaki Elric and Maes Hughes. Friends since childhood, and yet one can't cope with the others odd sleeping habits.

"GO BACK TO BED!" Another voice yelled from the room next door. This voice belonged to Jean Havoc, also long-time friend to Rue and Maes.

"SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP! IT'S THREE A.M. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Another voice yelled from the room on the right, this belonged to Riza Hawkeye.

Hughes still had a ridiculous grin on his face, and Rue was beginning to doze off again. Until the inevitable happened. (A.N. Prepare all fangirls as the one, the only, FLAME ALCHEMIST ENTERS!) Yes. Roy Mustang. He had been the leader of the group of five for a long time. (Since about age 13, when the quintet met for the first time and became friends.)

SNAP! The paper door to Rue's room flew open and there stood Roy. Fully dressed with a cup of coffee, leaning against the door frame.

"What are you all yellling about?" Roy said, grinning at Rue's expression as she wrapped herself in blankets, "I've been waithing for you monkeys to wake up for HOURS! Hahahaha!"

"Erugh... you are so FUNNY Mustang." Riza said sarcastically. "Anyway, we should get to work."

"Hey Riza," Rue said smiling sharply,

"What?"

"since when do ANY of us work on Sundays?"

The other three laughed at Rue's remark and Riza smiled smugly.

"I never said MILITARY work." She laughed as the other's expressions drooped into the, "Riza-has-signed-us-up-for-community-service-again" look.

"Damn. I knew I should've slept in today." Roy said. "What's for today, Riza? Community service? Work with orphaned eagles? Feeding birs?"

"None of the above." Riza said matter-of-factly. "We're going to train ninja. Or should I say, Roy and Rue are going to train ninja."

Let's pause here, and explain some more stuff. Roy, the Fire Alchemist, controls fire, right? Right. Okay. Now RUE is the Sand Alchemist. meaning she of course, controls sand. Taking us back to her roots in the Sand Village. (A.N. Thus recovering our connection to Naruto here.)

Suna no Elric. Got it? Good.

Back to our previous tale.

"WHAT?" Rue yelled, eyes wide.

"Calm down Rue!" Maes said frantically as wind started swiling softly around the room, as it usually did when Rue got mad.

" I said I was never going back there! ARE YOU INSANE!" Rue dressed as quickly as she could and stood up to argue more with Riza and those who wanted her to calm down.

"Rue, you're overreacting a bit, don't you think?" Jean said, "It's just kids, here."

"SHUT UP, HAVOC! Ahh... I am overreacting again, aren't I...?" Rue sat down cross-legged on the floor.

"Yes. It will take three weeks, but it'll be easy. Food and lodging are free as long as you fufill your duties." Riza smiled. "Glad you agree for once, Elric."

"Yeah... sure." Rue smiled in defeat.

There was a long silence, and soon Roy broke the awkwardness with the clap of his hands.

"So, when do we leave?"


	2. Welcome to Konoha!

WE left off as Roy Mustang and Ruaki Kamikage packed up and traveled to the peaceful village of Konoha where their arrival was evidently anticipated.

"Hello! Welcome to Konoha! I am Kakashi Hatake! This is my team! Meet Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno!" Kakashi smiled and looked again at the two Military personnel.  
"Who's this... loverly person?" He asked, noticing Rue standing behind Roy.  
"I am Lieutenent Ruaki Kamikage." Rue said emotionlessly, no expression, no nothing. Just the stone cold look of, "Let's-get-to-business-before-I-kill-you."  
"So, Hatake-san, where will we be staying?" Roy said in a soft monotone.  
"Ah yes! Sasuke, Naruto! Get the bags. Sakura, be a dear and lead these two to their lodgings. You may now address them as 'Sensei' or 'Sir'." Kakashi smiled. "I'd stay longer and chat but I have... business to attend too." He walked off, holding his book in both hands in front of him, but all the while sneaking quick looks backwards at Rue.

(A.N. Long awkward silence here)

"So Senseis, this way to your rooms." Sakura smiled sweetly. Sasuke and Naruto both carried one bag each. Sasuke surprised that Rue's was heavier than Roy's. Seeing as Roy was fully dressed in the Military uniform. Rue wore a simple, knee-cut kimono and sandals.

At the rooms..

"Thank you." Rue said, taking her bag from Sasuke. "Surprised, weren't you?""W-w-what?" Sasuke looked awed at the fact she seemed to know what he had been thinking.  
Rue chuckled softly. "Yes. I can read minds, but I don't usually." She set her bag on one of the beds. "I know your brother, I think."  
"Y-you know my brother? But how? Where?" Sasuke was now genuinely interested.  
"Hmm... Uchiha Itachi, right? Tall, crazy, overinflated ego? Likes to paint his nails purple?" Rue said looking serious.  
"Ha ha! That's the one." Sasuke grinned, hearing his brother liked to paint his nails PURPLE of all colors.  
(A.N. Akatsuki is NOT evil in this, so all the members will come across as comic relief.)  
Sakura walked to Rue's bag, which was now open. A breeze had blown pages of the Lieutenent's research across the bed."Sensei, what exactly DO you do at the Military?" She asked.  
"Ahh.. all in due time, kid. You wouldn't get it now." Rue said, very calmly. (when Riza in her place would have said, "TOUCH THAT AND I'LL SHOOT YOUR FOOT OFF!" )  
Inner Sakura by now was saying, " I don't trust this one. She seems PRETTY collected to be around Naruto so long."  
"But... but Sensei, all this paperwork, all the notes, they're all... they're all burned up around the edges! And some still smells like charred paper!" Sasuke looked up, his face a bit paler, " And these are... spattered with.. blood!"  
"Calm yourself, child! It's just some old notes I rescued from the library that burned down. Nothing murderous. Trust me." Rue said, still calm as ever.  
"Hate to interrupt, but I'm HUNGRY!" Naruto said, loud and obnoxious as ever. Sakura frowned at his loudness and disrespect for the sensei.  
"Naruto! Be respectful to-" Sakura began but was cut off abruptly by Roy.  
"Well, there's a boy with good timing! So Lieutenent, how about Ramen?" Roy said smiling at Rue.  
"Ramen? Cool! Can we come?" Naruto asked excitedly.  
"I don't know... well, sure. Why not? You were a great welcoming commitee." Rue grinned widely.  
"YEAH! ALL RIGHT!" Naruto leaped into the air. "What're ya' waiting for? Let's go!"


	3. Ramen Shop Showdown!

"_Turn and run when all I needed was the truth..."_

"Yeah RAMEN!" Naruto said for about the third time in the last 15 seconds. He and Sasuke and Sakura walked with Rue and Roy to the Ichiraku ramen shop. The Genin didn't really speak to Rue OR Roy except the occasional " SHUT UP NARUTO! Sensei Naruto wont's SHUT UP!" from Sakura. The five walked into the shop and Naruto struggled to hold his enthusiasm (A.N. SP?) Rue and Roy sat down and Roy smiled oddly at the three genin. "Five pleases, ma'am." He looked at the woman behind the counter and smiled. The woman, aged about 15-18 blushed lightly and walked to get the ramen prepared.  
" Well well well." A man's voice said from a seat to the left of Rue. "What brings military rats to this part of the fire country?" The voice belonged to a man no other than Orochimaru-sama himself. (A.N. He's not evil either. Just a jerk.)  
"That sir, is none of your concern." Rue said coolly. She didn't look at Orochimaru or even acknowledge his physical presence. All that was there was the stone hard look of Ruaki Kamikage.  
"Oh really. If that's how it is, excuuuuuse me!" He said sarcastically. Roy at this point realised the sand many people had tracked in on the floors began swirling slowly and Rue's hand began to shake gently.  
"Rue, calm down." Roy said firmly, setting his hand on her shoulder. "Please. Calm. Down."  
"Oh, what's wrong? Is strong ever so loyal little Rue throwing a tantrum? Tsk tsk." Orochimaru said, egging on Rue's temper.  
"Don't make me mad, snake-face." Rue said still sounding calm. Sasuke and Sakura looked on intently, sondering about the outcome of this. They had seen Orochimaru make many strong men 3 or 4 times his size angry and beat them. Naruto would've said something but it's rude to talk with your mouth full. Besides, it's hard to talk with your head in a bowl, too.  
" What's wrong? Is a military alchemist going to be able to beat me? Especially since I have chakra flowing quite constantly through my veins? Hmm? What are you going to do? BREAK MY ARMS AGAIN? HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaH! Ha!" Orochimaru saw this was going just as he wanted it to.  
"No thank you." Rue said venomously. "I got my fill of watching you scream in pain the last time, Oro-san." She smiled, shadow over her eyes.  
"Grr... " Orochimaru hated Rue. For acting so calm and cool about EVERYTHING. But, he was persistent.  
"Sasuke-kun, what's going on?" Sakura looked at Rue verbally abusing Orochimaru and the sand swirling in tiny tornadoes on the floor. The inner Sakura screamed, "That woman can't be trusted! Grrr.. LET'S JUST GO PUNCH HER!"  
"Sakura, the thing is, this military Lieutenent, this average person... she has chakra, tenketsu in her body. She is a Shinobi. Not a normal military hound." Sasuke used the Sharingan and sure enough, it was true. The chakra flow in Rue's body was sure and strangely enough, controlled.  
" Come on Rue. If you really ARE the great fighter everyone says you are, hit me. Come on! Or are women to WEAK to hit?" Orochimaru grinned at Rue's reaction. Rue had stood up facing Orochimaru.  
"What did you just say?" Rue said, her fists shaking. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" The sand on the floor began to swirl harder, higher.  
"I said, are women to weak to hit? Wait, don't answer that. I know it's true." Orochimaru celebrated on the inside.  
"I am sorry but I'm going to ask you to leave, Orochimaru. You are distubing the peace and being a real jackass." Rue said, realizing she was only giving him what he wanted when she got mad.  
"Oh, so if that's how it is, I'll take my leave." He walked to the door. "Baka teme! Anata baka joro! Anata tame, Roy-baka!" (A.N. That means Stupid bastard! You stupid whore! You too, Roy!)  
"Leave." Rue said, casting a short glance at Sasuke, noticing he was watching her with the Sharingan. "Leave NOW. Baka-Hebi.""So cold and harsh. Tsk tsk. What are these children going to do when their protection is beaten at her own game?" Orochimaru laughed softly, venomously. Rue stood in one spot, trying to keep herself in check without exploding and killing Orochimaru.  
"Grrr..." Sasuke stood up and faced Orochimaru. "They're not our protection. They're our SENSEIS." He smiled when rue flashed a thumbs up at him behind her back.  
"Yes. I'm a sensei. You know what that means." Rue did a series of hand seals. "Chidori!" She smiled as Orochimaru looked surprised beyind all reason and walked out the door, casting glances back to see if Rue was following him.  
"Perfect timing! Good job, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura said smiling.  
"Yes! Good timing, Sasuke. Good job." Rue laughed. "Did you see the look on his face?"  
"That jerk! I'll show him! Stupid snake. He can't call MY sensei a baka believe it!" Naruto said loudly.  
"Naruto, he's gone. No need." Rue smiled. She looked at Roy. "You're awfully quiet. What's on your mind, Mustang?"  
"Well, I never saw you use any jutsu of any kind. I thought you were making it up about your bloodline. I guess I was wrong to underestimate you." He said, staring into space.  
"Oh well. It's getting late. Finish your ramen and go home to bed, you have a hard day of training tomorrow. Believe it." Rue said standing up and walking to the door of the ramen shop.  
"Believe it indeed."


End file.
